Spend enough time studying personal growth and you’ll inevitably hear about the virtues of forgiveness.
Sure, it sounds good in theory. But let’s face it… Forgiveness is hard. Especially when it comes to forgiving that one who has deeply wronged you. The ex-colleague who stabbed you in the back. The
Ex-partner who lied to you. Or even our parents who never showed you the appreciation, recognition or love you craved as a kid. We sometimes think that they simply do NOT deserve our empathy.
Here’s the thing…Maybe. They. Don’t. But what most people don’t realize is that forgiveness is not about the person who wronged or hurt you. It’s about YOU. You don’t need to forgive them for their sake. You need to do it for your own sake.
Because what people don’t always realize is that the path to radical success in life – to outrageous personal accomplishment and joy – isn’t necessarily a drive, hard work, money or even a streak of good luck. It’s forgiveness. When you spend enough time spent fuming internally, the pain you felt in the past invites itself into the present. You’re refreshing your pain every time you think about that situation where you got screwed over. Every time you interact with someone who reminds you of the person who betrayed you. Every time you look in the mirror and remember that you bit that line, you fell for that trick, you signed onto that deal that you shouldn’t have.
Your mind internalizes that feeling. And it integrates it into the way it thinks about the future. Your mind goes, “Okay – person A hurt me in the past, which means I definitely shouldn’t trust person B.”
“My first business ended up failing, so my next one will be a disaster too.”
“I let myself down by having faith in the wrong thing in the past, so I can’t trust my judgment going forward.”
The pain you carry forward becomes a self-defeating pattern. THAT’S why you HAVE to forgive.
Forgiveness isn’t about letting your enemies walk free and absolving them of their wrongdoings.
It’s about finally letting yourself walk free. Into the better future that is waiting for you. Into the bigger person, you are capable of becoming. Into the next phase of your life, where the deadweight of your past has been dropped.
Into the incredible life that you deserve.